u guys are fucking loserssssssssssssss

不知為何現在還未能夠平伏情緒 大概是有生以來令我感到最痛心的事吧忽然間過去十多年的片段隱隱約約地逐一閃出 如果真的存在「如果」 我願付出任何代價來換取父母姐弟健康只因他們就是我生存的意義回歸現實 有些事情總只能幻想

「樹欲靜而風不息，子欲養而親不在。」何以這句老掉牙的話　能悟其意之人卻廖廖可數？一連串的問題傾巢而出　愛恨無止境地痛擊著我
我有多久沒有好好的跟父母吃過飯？有多久沒有陪媽媽到街市買菜？有多久沒有致電關心一下他們？常常跟在媽媽身邊，不停的發問著，有多久我已沒有向媽媽撒嬌了？有多久沒有和父母溝通？

要不是昨天媽提到原來父親已經快年逾半百，她自己也四十多了....這還是我頭一回真真正正的感到父母原來真的不再年輕過去為養育我們總是不辭勞苦的工作　近來我已經沒有膽量去細望父母的日漸老化的身體我怕看到他們已轉白的頭髮；我怕看到他們因工作而得的傷痕；我怕看到那些象徵年老的紋跡；

雖然我的父母把最好的留給我，在我心中他們是最好的父母，但可悲的是我仍然是天下間最不孝的女兒。我恨自己未能早些出生　未能早點報笞你們從小時候你們已經需要留在大陸工作　我們相對的時間真的不多但我知道你們只是為了我們　積蓄下來的都是為使我們生活富足些


不過　我不配

Grey Room

Well I've been here before,
I've sat on the floor,
In a grey grey room.
Where I stay in all day,
I don't eat but I play,
With this grey grey food.

Desole, If someone is prayin'
Then I might break out.
Desole, Even if I scream,
I can't scream that loud.

I'm all alone again,
Crawling back home again,
Just stuck by the phone again.

Yeah, well I've been here before,
Sat on a floor,
In a grey grey mood.
Where I stay up all night,
And all that I write,
Is a grey grey tune.

So pray for me child, Just for a while
And I might break out.
Pray for me child, Even a smile
Would do for now.

So I'm all alone again,
Crawling back home again,
Just stuck by the phone again.

Have I still got you to be my open door?
Have I still got you to be my sandy shore?
Have I still got you to cross my bridge in this storm?
Have I still got you to keep me warm?

Cause if I squeeze my grape,
And I drink my wine.
Cause if I squeeze my grape,
And I drink my wine.
Oh, cause nothing is lost,
Is just frozen in frost.
It is open in time,
Is no one alive.

And I've still got me to be your open door.
And I've still got me to be your sandy shore.
And I've still got me to cross your bridge in this storm.
And I've still got me to keep you warm.

Warmer than warm yeah,
Warmer than warm yeah,
Warmer than warm yeah,
Warmer than warm yeah....

dear all
how's thing goin'? i am quite disappointed by myself recently.time cannot return,and that's why i am regret about what i've done in the past 3months.during summer time,i promised everyone around me,e.g. my parents,family,friends and teachers....i would ttry my best to study,to fulfill my dream.but what's the hell i'm doing? i spent 2months on a meaningless person,a meaningless memory,a meaingless realtionship,so what did i get from it? totally none!!!lets take a look about my study,psychology,well,perhaps i still need time to get improvemnet,and for chinese histry and LS (hong kong studies+china today) ,i do think there are suitable for me as i likes these two subjects very very much. BUT WHAT'S IRRITATE ME IS THE TEACHING PROGRESS BETWEEN ME AND MY CLASSMATES. take an example,LS,my teacher needs to expplain the concept again and again,why dont the students pre-study the content first?DAMN IT,GONNA FUCK MYSELF!
jerk,are you gonna be the one jackass that you used to be?
please remember what you have promised,alright!
i am gonna kill you,wahahahahjahahahaha

COLOR 29/11/06

i am back

約定

13/10/2006

.

gonna ignore everything around me...
it's worthless..

SIGH

FUCK UP

分手了

還有心
無言無涯

dedicated to my RONNIE

H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y!!!!
as i remember ,the first time i realized that there was a brasilian football player named RONALDO was in 1996,,the olympic game,i'll never forget that score..AND SURE,YOU ARE IN MY MIND

I LOVE YOU
NO ONE'S GONNA LOVE YOU LIKE ME...

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK THOSE HYPOCRITICAL GLORY FANS TO GO HELL

Sustaining much activity

......when will it end?
I dont mind to help my classmates to do any works,
but could you please yurn over to think ,
to think about my situation?
sicko,i dont wanna waste my time on you anymore,
FUCK OFF



I HATES XANGA!
IRONICALLY,I AM USING XANGA TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY CLASSMATES;
TO JOT DOWN MY DAILY LIFE;I AM SUCH A FREAKO.


do you have the time?

to listen to me whine?

calamity

DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
I gained 10LBS since 1/9:o(
what the hell is going on?:(

*FUN*

pics to describle my life

[newest]



原來同許家駿既事已經過左兩年；原來時間真係可以殺死所有野。
我唔知我將佢完全同我隔離係岩定錯，但係我覺得依家既生活過得很好，多謝你既關心…
再見！

so sweet

haha,sweet classmates....
I have lunch with So Fung (who sits next to me),George,keyman,timothy,belinda and coco recently,things i worried before were gone,well,amazing!what's more,i am glad that most of them are hard-working students,we did discussion/revision seriously when we were having free lesson or during class.Especially George,coco and SoFung,we keep discussing,or maybe i should ascribe to "SELF-STUDY",we dont mean to disregard the effort of our english teacher,but,I think the outcome was much better than that!

dinner first
:)

troublesome

could you please shut up bitch?
i hates detractor!
that's no reason for me to follow your expectation.
who do you think you are?
you dont have the power to control who i'll **** for,NEVER!

INTERACTANT

同EVANS出左去，我第一眼見佢心入面已經忍唔住講：做乜又黑左咁多？
（註：兩年前佢去完泰國返香港，黑到好似淨係見到佢排好白既牙！！）
原來我地都認識左差唔多有８年，今年係第８年，由tn去到三育，轉折地我地又去返同一間，不過今年係佢f.7我f.6。哈哈，仲有呀，原來我一早諗定點返學先至最平，最方便既路線又係同佢一樣，幾時先可以擺脫到你呀？:)　同佢買完野坐低左，傾左好多野，佢好感嘆咁話依家認識既人真係好唔同，d人好假等等…其實識咩人自己揀既姐，我只會覺得「物以類聚」，如果明知班人唔好仲玩埋一堆既先至係腦生草！
－－

我成晚都無同亞媽講野，不過我知佢今晚腰骨痛，佢叫細佬幫佢按摩下，但係結果係點，我諗都唔駛我講。其實我坐響到帶住個耳塞無開到聲，一路聽佢地講野，聽到亞媽係咁話痛，聽到我真係好忟好唔開心，但係我真係唔知可以點先扮聽歌...到左１２點到，老豆叫埋亞媽入房訓，得返我一個響廳到…果一下真係忍唔住係咁喊，我忟我細佬點解唔對我亞媽好一點；我忟我亞媽點解唔肯去睇醫生…過左一陣，我走左入佢間房叫佢出廳等我幫佢捽。有時我都會亂諗，點解亞媽淨係有野做時先搵我？（當然我知我亞媽好錫我，我亦都唔係話要去計邊個做得多／少）幫佢按左兩個幾鐘，隻手都無咩停過，我好累，但係佢聽日返大陸，我真係唔知幾時再可以見到佢。所以我情願可以按得幾多得幾多，真係唔知佢同細佬／家姐係咪睇中我心軟呢個弱點，成日點我做呢樣做果樣呀！哼T^T　，或者我真係太愛佢地...
－－

好野!!遲少少kenny會拎佢c.hist既notes比我，至少唔駛連人地點出題目都唔知！唔知點解我真係好想話佢知我覺得佢好sweet,哈哈哈!我諗至少響依家呢個社會黎講,佢都算係一個好純品既人!:*)

lament to....

我很累，真的很想帶著安靜的心境好好睡一會，也許是把自己從現實中分割開去的唯有機會。過去的一年多時間，身體固然勞累，但更令我煩惱的是心理上所承擔的壓力，真的很重。毫無疑問地，不分彼此﹑相親相愛都的家庭成份中最重要的成分；然而，從父母管教方式看來，相信若要把ｃ拉回正路用上「天方夜譚」來形容也不為過份！

對於這個家，我一直沒有去計算過付出，在我來說只要家中一人有用得著我的地方，我也會盡心盡力的完成，為的只是希望你們安好。過去年多，事無大小我也願意負上責任，可是這兩天忽然又再重回一年前的起點：詭辯，爭吵，互不揪啋…原來一年來，我一直在圓圈內行走，卻天真地認為陰霾已散！爭吵的說話當然不會悅耳，但請不要高估我的情緒，不要嘗試歪曲我的原意。

即使你在場看到他對我那些「禮貌」的語氣亦不加以懲治，請問我還有需要去浪費自己時間在他身上嗎？不要用「我有罵他，你看不到不要亂說。」，我不是親眼看見，這比叫我相信「耶穌」的存在更難！自己去想想過去與他一起「共同製作」了多少假動作，你可以兌服你自己嗎？「上樑不正下樑歪」－－上星期才答應不會再干預管教問題，言猶在耳，不過相信往後我還是不要給予太高期望。

反正都是虛情假意的說話，不如不聽。

It's Greenday Again

this song always makes me cry for some reason....definitely very appealing...

life comes across bleak.Lonely people are around every place,every corner,including me,you and me...I am absolutely thristy for meaning,identity,love and just to know SOMEONE IS HERE WITH ME especially under this chaotic circumstances...




I ♥ GREEN DAY

bleak

she had operation again yesterday...looked weak,infirm,poor...
someone told me that she cried for the insufferable pain for an hour after the surgical procedure done...can you imagine how aching i felt?watching your beloved,who was suffering from both grave mental and physical discomforts,but nothing could be done to help her,the pain penetrated my heart... even into my marrow...





I sees no way out.